The Man, The Myth, The Legend — Nobel Prize Winner Al Gore

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
– Stephen Wright Comedian

The Man, The Myth, The Legend — Nobel Prize Winner Al Gore
by: Joe Leonardi

First and foremost, I would like to Congratulate Al Gore on winning the Nobel Peace Prize. His victory has sparked renewed calls for him to run for President circling the internet he invented. I know, I know all you Gore-a-maniacs will yell he never said that, he just implied it.

Al Gore deflects calls for his entry into the race by suggesting he is having too much fun.

Translated. Ya’ll are nuts, I’m making way too much freaking money and I don’t have to do a dam thing to earn a penny of it.

Citizen Gore has been a master salesperson for the carbon credit industry. He has used a combination of fear and guilt to CONvince people to pay to pollute. In a nutshell carbon credits work like this: people who over-pollute, like celebrities and former politicians who have ten thousand plus square foot homes for two or three people, utilize private jets and get driven around in gargantuan, gas guzzling limos can alleviate their gullible guilt by paying to pollute. Yes, I know they are buying “offsets” that go into green industries.

Please. These liberal elitist are sending the message, to the majority of Americans who live pay check to pay check, that it is okay to pollute if you can afford to pay for it. I have a novel idea — pollute less.

Nobel Prize winner Al Gore has made statements to the effect that the work he is doing is too important to stop now; or he needs to keep the issue of global warming in the public eye.

My response — Huh?

The U.S. Presidency is the most visible bully pulpit in the world. If Gore wants to change the world’s attitudes about global warming; what better position could there be?

Sorry my bad, that gig only pays four hundred grand a year and it requires… well it requires work.

I know many people like Al Gore and that is fine, it is their opinion. I like Al Gore too, out of office. I will admit that Gore does not lack the qualifications. I may not agree with him but his resume, if not his ideology, is impressive. However, former Congressman, former Senator, former Vice-President Al Gore will not run for President for one major reason — if he loses again, he doesn’t get to cry about how he really was the next President of the United States.

My Gore supporting friends have never gotten over the 2000 election. I often like to point out one nagging fact the Al-a-holics never discus. If then Vice President Al Gore won the state of Tennessee, his home state, the state that sent him to the Senate twice, he would have been President of the United States of America.

We like to think of the presidential election as a national referendum, however it is not. Our system turns the race for president into a series of state wide elections. The goal of which, by calculated electoral math, is to attain a majority of the electoral college.

Forget the Florida fiasco, which I will admit it was, if he won Tennessee he would have won. The 2000 electoral college results Bush 271 Gore 266. Take Tennessee’s 11 electoral votes away from Bush he gets 260, give them to Gore he gets 277— Al Gore is victorious. I know it lacks the conspiracy theories we like so much. This simple truth takes the blame away from the evil Supreme Court and mean republicans and makes Al Gore responsible for his own loss.

Sacrilege?! How dare I suggest Gore actually lost instead of being robbed.

Al Gore had previously won two Tennessee state wide elections, but he lost the state wide election for Tennessee’s electoral votes in 2000. It makes you wonder — What do the people of Tennessee know that we don’t?

Wishing for Al Gore to run is like me wishing there was a conservative candidate for president. Neither is going to occur.

Gore must maintain the illusion that he is a legend — if only in his own mind.

Joe Leonardi